...from the internet for awhile. Nothing big going on, but I just don't think I'll be posting anything for awhile, so don't want anyone to keep checking w/no updates.
I just don't feel up to posting at the moment. As much as it hurts/embarrasses me to admit, depression has set in (it's been here for awhile, actually), and honestly, it's hard to pretend to be up-beat when I couldn't feel more removed from my life and those in my life. I'm just...drained. Or numb.
Be back when I can.
7 comments:
Awww, Alissa...I can relate. I think it has something to do with postpartum hormones b/c I've been depressed months after having each of my children. I think another part of the reason is just lack of sleep - at least for me. Without my sleep, I'm a depressed zombie. Sorry - didn't mean to come on here acting like I know things, just wanted to sympathize and say I understand. I'll be praying for you. Depression is a B.
Sorry to hear that. It's really normal. Take care of yourself and talk to your doctor. They can prescribe something that will make you feel better or at least take the edge off.
After talking w/the doctor, I think a low dose of lexapro will be in my future- obviously not forever, just for awhile. It's not even the baby- he's the good one right now! The other two are just acting out a lot more than ever, especially when I'm nursing, or getting ready, or they're bugging the baby when he's sleeping...or a thousand other weird things to make me snap. And, I honestly have NO patience anymore- I'm just angry, all the time, at just about everything. (I'm sure driving in the car w/me is a blast!) I feel terrible afterwards, especially seeing them sleeping, or their pictures, when I realize just how small and tiny they really are- I start to feel incredibly guilty for either demanding too much of them, or for just being so mean. Or, for a million things- I just feel bad about how I treat them sometimes.
Also, I'm constantly scared...fearing everything, as though something horrible is surely going to happen to us, or me, or the kids, and that there's no escape from it. I have so much trouble sleeping at night bc I'm afraid, and not sleeping well never helps. Ugh, just need a vacation from my life for awhile! ;)
Anyway, going to pick up my prescription later this afternoon...and, apparently it causes weight gain. That's fantastic- just what a depressed (postpartum) person (w/already grossly sagging-and-dimpled stomach skin) needs! ;)
Awwww....I'm sorry. :( I can relate to that guilt feeling after a day of impatience. I hope the meds help you get back to your normal self soon!
Maybe you just need a trip to Austin! :)
Sounds like you are taking a step in the right direction with medication and speaking to the doctor. That's the toughest part, so props to you for taking that step! I've totally have days like that too with my kids/hubby!
PPD doesn't last forever though. I hope with the meds that you'll be able to get some sleep and relax a little more. Just give it a few weeks though because the medication doesn't work immediately.
Oh and I should show you my saggy stomach so you feel better! :0 Ugh, and I can't even work out for another 6 weeks....
Head tilt ...
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